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Friday, September 20, 2013

My Yellow-Bellied Watermelon


Well, I've spent a lot of time in my garden lately keeping an eye on my watermelon. Kinfolk have whispered questions about whether I've been sitting out there watching it ripen or watching it rot. The fruit didn't have the courage to volunteer clues to the answer and sat in solitary resistance to my prodding.
I finally mustered the nerve to show up the naysayers. Marching out to my small plot with knife in hand, severed the melon from the vine. It was a crime of passion. I immediately felt remorseful and wallowed in the what-ifs of what I had done. Regret moaned a sad song in my soul. But the deed was done, so I hauled the harvest inside and hid it in the crisper.
In the evening, I gathered my family in the kitchen and confessed what I had done. I plead my case:

 

Children eagerly crowded around. The dense interior of the watermelon's inner sanctum remained a mystery. I would have to violate its integrity (if it had any) again:

 

It was not enough to just expose its red flesh. Hands greedily reached for it. Mouths salivated. We would quickly know the answer to the unkind speculation made about my gardening habits. Anticipation met anguish:


 

The worst of it was accidentally edited by an inept camera operator. It was a blessing. He prodded for a re-taste so he could do a re-take. No one wanted seconds:

  
The seeds of despair are all that remain.

As a reminder, you can listen to the audio of The Beast of Blue Mountain here for a limited time. Let your kids listen. It's free and it's for them!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Except for the videotaping aspect, we had the same results with that same sized "personal" watermelon. N-A-S-T-Y taste! Such high hopes when the seeds were planted. *sigh* Will have to try the large watermelons next year.

William Kendall said...

The melon put up a valiant struggle, but in the end...

Lucy Adams said...

it got the best of me.

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