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Monday, October 31, 2011

Who areYou on Halloween?

Everything imaginable comes to my door on All Hallows Eve. Children in every age group from newborn to nonagenarian trick-or-treat my house.





A national survey conducted by The Hershey Company, revealed that personal candy preferences may provide insight into Halloween costume choices. According to the survey:
  • About 30 percent of Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, Kit Kat Wafer Bar and Hershey's Milk Chocolate lovers will dress as a vampire, witch or monster.
  • More than 41 percent of Twizzlers Twists fans stated they plan to dress-up in period piece costumes from different eras of the 20th century.
  • Twenty-three percent of Jolly Rancher lovers plan to costume themselves as their favorite superhero.       
 
Halloween isn't just about the costumes and the candy, Charlie Brown. It's not about the Great Pumpkin rising from the pumpkin patch. Halloween is about making sure my children bring home a bucketful of chocolate and avoid the houses that give away those hard nougat chunks wrapped in orange wax paper. And good gracious, Granny, who wants a penny? I need the good stuff.

Thanks to the Hershey's, company I can plan a route for my children that is certain to ensure they bring home the mother load:
  • Houses with black shutters are 77% more likely to hand out Kit Kat Bars. 
  • Ranch houses are 37% more likely to give out Kit Kat Bars.
  • Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup lovers should skip ranch houses and run from 2-story house to 2-story house, where they’ll have a 26 percent greater chance of receiving Reeses Cups.
  • Houses with brown doors are 32% more likely to hand out Hershey's milk chocolate bars.

Now hit the sidewalks kids and re-stock mama's
chocolate stash!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Meet Young Author, Stephanie Campbell

Stephanie Campbell is quite an ambitious 20 year-old. She published her first book, Until We Meet Again, at the age of 17, while still in high school.  She's now in the process of getting seven books out in the next couple of months (Whoo!). All of the books she wrote in high school have successfully found homes with publishers.

Stephanie says, "I've got really big dreams. I know that I sound crazy, but I want to be a New York Times bestseller, a USA Today bestseller, and I want to be on the Today Show." Actually, that doesn't sound so crazy at all. Stephanie sees where she wants to go and what she desires to achieve and she's working hard to get there.

Get sucked into another world with Stephanie Campbell's latest tome, Poachers:
Ronnie Toll has never played with other kids. He's never slept soundly throughout the night, turned a corner without checking first, or laughed for the sake of laughing. All Ronnie knows is a world of shadows and monsters. His mother and father, Marion and Leon, are the only ones by his side. But all that is about to change when his mother is murdered by the monsters that only he can see. With his only safe haven crumbling around him, Ronnie becomes a poacher for the other side to help protect human civilization as he knows it. The problem is, he’s taking on more than he bargained for when he tangles with creatures that are larger than life—and himself.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Queen of the Castle(s)

Today, the Tuck Your Skirt 2011 Blog Tour  is royally hosted by Queen of the Castle(s). Read a short but entertaining bio of me. But better than that, you can watch a video book excerpt by clicking on the first links (either Lucy Adams or Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run). You will never think about good cholesterol and bad cholesterol the same way again.

While you're there, enter to win the drawing for a Tuck Your Skirt tote:



Through the end of November, I'm visiting blogs around the country, participating in Q&A, sharing excerpts from Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run, and giving folks a chance to listen to podcasts and watch videos about me and Tuck Your Skirt. Some bloggers will be hosting giveaways so you'll definitely want to stop by.

I hope to see you along the virtual book tour trail. Meet the blog tour hosts.

I'd love to visit your blog, too. Email me if you're interested or check here for more details.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Peas and Drumsticks

Good mothers, I always believed, feed their children a well-rounded, well-balanced diet that includes a variety of foods. I've prided myself on limiting sweets but not creating desire via complete stringent denial of sugary foods. As a mother, I make a point to stock my refrigerator and pantry with a wide range of nutritious snacks so that my children feel like they have choices.



But when I find my teenage son eating a satisfying meal of peas and a Drumstick, I'm not sure if I have achieved "good" mother status. Though I'm sure, if asked, the word "perfect" would enter into the description of this self-selected culinary delight. 

Monday, October 24, 2011

Rebel Belle

Tuck Self at Rebel Belle is hosting the Tuck Your Skirt 2011 Blog Tour today with a very special treat. Tune in to the Tuck Talk radio program to listen to a recorded interview with moi.

As you've probably already guessed, a Rebel Belle is no ordinary southern lady. She's "A southern voice for bold self-expression." After enjoying the podcast, you really must take a peek under the Human Design tab. Then scoot to the Coaching tab and grab some inspiration for living your best life.

Over the next few weeks. I'm visiting more blogs around the country, participating in Q&A, sharing excerpts from Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run, and giving folks a chance to listen to podcasts and watch videos about me and Tuck Your Skirt. Some bloggers will be hosting giveaways so you'll definitely want to stop by.

I hope to see you along the virtual book tour trail. Meet the blog tour hosts.

I'd love to visit your blog, too. Email me if you're interested or check here for more details.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Spare Change

Wow! I've met so many wonderful people on my Tuck Your Skirt 2011 Blog Tour. My social network has expanded as much as my web-reach. One of the new friends I've made is Bette Lee Crosby, author of Spare Change.

Spare Change is the story of Olivia Westerly who believes children weigh a woman down like a pocket full of stones—after avoiding marriage for over fifty years, she finally relents and ends up with a foul-mouthed grandson who’s got a murderer in hot pursuit. Written in a Southern voice – it’s a murder mystery with heart and humor.  To read the first chapter, visit the Bent Pine Publishing blog  http://wp.me/P1HSgW-N

Back cover copy for Spare Change:
Olivia Westerly was woman whose father disowned her when she tossed her nose in the air and left home in pursuit of a job he considered scandalous. He’d expected her to marry and settle into having babies as her friends had done; but Olivia simply couldn’t tolerate the thought. Why just the mere mention of children sent chills up her spine!

 Believing that children weigh a woman down like a pocket full of stones, Olivia avoids such entanglements for almost forty years…then she meets Charlie Doyle and everything changes. Even though Charlie has a son, and a grandson he’s supposedly never seen, Olivia is blinded by love and happily says “I do.”

That happiness is cut short when Charlie dies on their honeymoon and Olivia returns home to find eleven year old Ethan Allen Doyle sitting on her doorstep. The boy’s parents are dead and only two people know the truth of what happened—Ethan Allen isn’t talking and the murderer wants to make certain he never does. Olivia is the only one who can stop it from happening.  

Spare Change officially released yesterday and is available from Amazon, Kindle and Nook.
On Amazon, readers can download a free sample, or read part of the book for free. The introductory price on Kindle is only $2.99.

Get to know Bette Lee Crosby better. Visit her personal blog:  http://betteleecrosby.wordpress.com

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Simply Southern Girl

Simply Southern Girl is hosting the Tuck Your Skirt 2011 Blog Tour  today. A Q&A with Britain, THE Simply Southern Girl, reveals my biggest struggles with writing, tips for aspiring writers and bloggers, and a few things more. She's also hosting a giveaway.

Enter to win a Tuck Your Skirt tote


and a copy of Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run.

Over the next few weeks. I'm visiting more blogs around the country, participating in Q&A, sharing excerpts from Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run, and giving folks a chance to listen to podcasts and watch videos about me and Tuck Your Skirt. Some bloggers will be hosting giveaways so you'll definitely want to stop by.

I hope to see you along the virtual book tour trail. Meet the blog tour hosts.

I'd love to visit your blog, too. Email me if you're interested or check here for more details.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Cubicle Sanity

The Tuck Your Skirt 2011 Blog Tour is visiting Cubicle Sanity today, where you can listen to a podcast of me discussing the fine line of writing about friends and family. Plus read an excerpt from  Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run titled Snapping Over Snapple. It has an ending that I really love.

Enter yourself for a chance to win a Tuck Your Skirt tote


by leaving a comment that has the word "panties" in it without repeating the title of the book. I know you're up for the challenge.

Over the next few weeks. I'm visiting more blogs around the country, participating in Q&A, sharing excerpts from Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run, and giving folks a chance to listen to podcasts and watch videos about me and Tuck Your Skirt. Some bloggers will be hosting giveaways so you'll definitely want to stop by.

I hope to see you along the virtual book tour trail. Meet the blog tour hosts.

I'd love to visit your blog, too. Email me if you're interested or check here for more details.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Extra Entertainment

now lists Lucy Adams blog posts on the home page. Click the link and scroll down on the left.
I'm very honored.

Parents and families receive timely and helpful information in the pages, both print and digital, of Augusta Family Magazine.

Friday, October 14, 2011

An Overdue Date

Yesterday my husband and I got together during the lunch hour. Since the school schedule began, we've said our hellos and goodbyes in the driveway. This was a time out.

I picked him up from work and for the first minutes in weeks we were face to face, eyes open, talking. We discussed what we wanted to get out of the next hour. We shared our thoughts and feelings. We did some testing to make sure we were both on the same page with things.

"This is like a date," I exuberantly confessed to my husband, as I pulled my car into the Visitor parking space.

"This is a parent-teacher conference," he reminded me, "in a middle school, to discuss our son's behavior issues."

 My corrupted romantic expectations splattered all over the linoleum-tiled hallway where a janitor sprinkled Emergency Clean-Up granules on the mess and swept it away. The embarrassing evidence of elation was publicly removed.

A wet residue of guilt for my misaligned gleefulness remained. 

Thursday, October 13, 2011

My Artsy-Fartsy 14 Year-Old

Not since my youngest son was four and lifted up the skirt of the little girl in front of him in line while waiting for the water fountain have I received such an embarrassing phone call. When I saw that it was the middle school on a Monday, I immediately assumed my 2nd son was in the office calling me again because he had forgotten his football practice gear. But when I answered, I was surprised to hear a woman's voice addressing me as Mrs. Adams.

I jumped to the conclusion that the school secretary, wary of kids transferring stomach bugs to her receiver, decided to make the call for him. "Hello, yes, Mrs. Adams, this is Mrs. Collingswold. I teach your son math." This formal introduction from someone who knows I know that she teaches my son math made the hair on my arms stand up.

"Because there is no way to put this any nicer, I'm just going to say it. Your son drew male parts on the hand of another boy in class today."

Arms? Legs? What? My head spun.

She must have sensed that I was not computing the message. "The male anatomy, That's clearly what it was."

My silence was interpreted as ignorance, thus she spelled it out for me: "Jen-i-taaaaylllll-ya, Mrs. Adams."

"Oh," I at last whispered, horrified.

"I didn't write a referral," she explained, "but I told him I would be calling you. He comes from such a nice family and has so much potential. I wanted to let you and your husband handle this at home."

I hung on the words "nice family," glad that she still thought so. But I was at a loss for how to punish him for this egregious act. He's my middle child, See-Some-Evil set amidst his siblings, Say-Some-Evil, Do-Some-Evil and Tattle-Some-Evil. I've never had to exact flesh from him before.

My friend Charlotte, when I spilled my mortified guts to her, and she finally caught her breath from laughing, suggested that I make my son draw on my hand what he drew at school on the other child's hand. I refuse, however, to go around with male "Jen-i-taaaaylllll-ya" on my self. I don't want to be conspicuously marked as the mother of a "prevert," as my children say. That reproach might be effective, but wouldn't a time-tested lecture work just as well?

When he climbed in the car after football practice, I confronted him. "So, you've been drawing p***ses at school, in math class." His face pinked. "Were you measuring them? Comparing sizes? What? What do p***ses have to do with math?" Every time I said "p***s" he flinched and his face turned a deeper shade of red. Then I assured him that I know all about 14 year-old boys and their fascination with body parts. I named a few of the ones more shocking coming from his mother's mouth.

"What are you at school for?" I rhetorically demanded. "To learn. To do your studies. To prepare for your future. Do you have a 100 in every class? No. No, you don't." I could tell that since I had dropped the use of the word "p***s," he had begun to stare out of the car window and ignore me. So I said, "I tell you what. I'll make a deal with you. When you have a 100 in every class, I'll buy you a notebook just for drawing pictures of p***ses. You can draw p***ses all day in every class, all shapes and sizes of them." He sank in his seat.

This tactic was probably a mistake. He will likely make sure that he never has a 100 in every class.

It also didn't curb his appetite for trouble at school, seeing as how I got a phone call on Tuesday from another teacher informing me that he and two other boys got sent to the office for laughing and making paper airplanes.

As much as I hate to do it, looks like I'm going to have to make that child draw on Charlotte's hand.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Life Monitors

There are people who appoint themselves the monitors of all social situations. They see it as their personal duty and calling to "speak to" individuals who have errantly worn the incorrect ensemble to the ceremony, to "redirect" a person not following the prescribed order of events, to "nudge" a man not sticking to the social protocol, to "offer advice" to a misaligned lady. These life monitors protect the covenant of perfection. Every club, every church, every workplace, every group of friends, every social situation has one of these self-assigned monitors.

And they are always on the lookout for a woman like me. I give purpose to their lives. I have a large target on my front and another on my back. I'm totally and completely correctable at almost everything I do, so much so that I've finally learned to accept it with a smile and go on doing just what I was before someone took notice of my shortcomings.

The big bosomed church ladies send messages to me through my children critiquing the way I receive communion on Sunday mornings, as if they've been to every church everywhere and seen everyone and have clear confirmation from Jesus Himself on the the way one should position her hands to cradle the Holy Sacrament.

Horse people tipsy on toddies - liquid courage for chasing foxes and coyotes swiftly through field and forest - tell my mother to instruct me that my stock tie knot isn't centered. They see the disparity with their mighty measurement eyes. They want me and my mother to know I've failed.

My latest reprimand, however, came at a concert. In public. Face-to-face. If you have not heard by now (and almost everyone, including my mother, has heard), on Friday night at the Packway Handle Band concert I was the target of a public shushing. I was asked by another audience member if it would be okay if she told my friends and me to pipe down. She claimed she could hear us clear to the diagonally opposite side of the room next to the speakers from which the band’s They-Might-Be-Giants-type-stylized-alternative-bluegrass-bar-music emanated at a decibel beyond a healthy range for the human ear; an unfathomable feat. The ability to speak that loudly might one day land me in the record books.

And everything probably would have been fine if I hadn’t sarcastically gasped and asked the room monitor if she could hear who we were talking about. It took all the restraint I could rally to keep from questioning if she knew what a packway handle is anyway.

I promised that after intermission we would enjoy ourselves in a more operatic demeanor, like the Queen of England at a dog fight. Then I decided to discount the entire matter as an unfortunate gaffe similar to blessing someone’s heart to his face.

Because I know something that all of the self-appointed monitors don't, and it's not simply that lifetime name-takers ride on the ridge of rudeness. I'm pretty darn confident that the person getting shushed is ALWAYS having way more fun than the shusher.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

My Crazy Life

The Tuck Your Skirt 2011 Blog Tour keeps getting better and better, and we've only just begun. The blog tour is over at My Crazy Life today, where you can read an excerpt from Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run titled Weaving a Tangled Web. It's about a bit of a knot my sister-in-law tied with her tongue.

Over the next few weeks. I'm visiting more blogs around the country, participating in Q&A, sharing excerpts from Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run, and giving folks a chance to listen to podcasts and watch videos about me and Tuck Your Skirt. Some bloggers will be hosting giveaways so you'll definitely want to stop by.

I hope to see you along the virtual book tour trail. Meet the blog tour hosts.

I'd love to visit your blog, too. Email me if you're interested or check here for more details.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Southern Protocol

The Tuck Your Skirt 2011 Blog Tour is visiting The Southern Protocol Blog today.

Read what the girls at Southern Protocol think about Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run. After you've checked that out, spend some time getting great tips and tricks for entertaining, personal style and good graces.

 
Over the next few weeks. I'm visiting more blogs around the country, participating in Q&A, sharing excerpts from Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run, and giving folks a chance to listen to podcasts and watch videos about me and Tuck Your Skirt. Some bloggers will be hosting giveaways so you'll definitely want to stop by.

I hope to see you along the virtual book tour trail. Meet the blog tour hosts.

I'd love to visit your blog, too. Email me if you're interested or check here for more details.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Through the Eyes of a Tiger

The Tuck Your Skirt 2011 Blog Tour is roaring on over to Through the Eyes of a Tiger!
Read an excerpt from Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run titled Emergency Fashion. Plus, there's a giveaway.

Over the next few weeks. I'm visiting more blogs around the country, participating in Q&A, sharing excerpts from Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run, and giving folks a chance to listen to podcasts and watch videos about me and Tuck Your Skirt. Some bloggers will be hosting giveaways so you'll definitely want to stop by.

I hope to see you along the virtual book tour trail. Meet the blog tour hosts.

I'd love to visit your blog, too. Email me if you're interested or check here for more details.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Mommalicious

The Tuck Your Skirt 2011 Blog Tour continues TODAY at Mommalicious!
Pop on over and partake of a podcast.

 
Over the next few weeks. I'm visiting more blogs around the country, participating in Q&A, sharing excerpts from Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run, and giving folks a chance to listen to podcasts and watch videos about me and Tuck Your Skirt. Some bloggers will be hosting giveaways so you'll definitely want to stop by.

I hope to see you along the virtual book tour trail. Meet the blog tour hosts.

I'd love to visit your blog, too. Email me if you're interested or check here for more details.