Towing the Line

What do I say to kid who asks me, "Mama, do I look like Mater with his doors open?"

If I say no, he'll think I'm patronizing him. He'll think I'm just doing my motherly duty and making him feel better about a kid at school teasing him.

If I say yes, he'll cry. And he'll write bad things about me and my maternal cruelties in his memoirs.

Silence simply confirms his worst fears, that the little girl who said it can see deep down into his soul from where his ears sprout, and that she maybe likes what she sees there. Bleck!

So I said, "You got less rust on your chin."

He went and asked his daddy.