Words I Live By

"Go away from me with that," is a common command directed at my children. I do not want to bear witness to their petty disputes. I do not want to mediate their ridiculous disagreements. And I do not want to judge who may or may not be at fault. I refuse to let them drag me into the fray. So I banish them from my presence.

Off they go, dissatisfied that they are without an audience and now bickering about who made me mad first.

But these kids of mine are clever and cunning and have their ways of drawing me in despite myself. They've taken to recording their battles for my review. Yesterday, in preparation for a book club appearance to discuss my book,Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run, I readied my supplies, which included my voice recorder so that I can make a podcast of the discussion.

My voice recorder had 12 new tracks on it. As I clicked through each one, I discovered that my offspring, thoughtful in every way, had recorded one of their numerous quarrels for my listening pleasure (I added the music for your listening pleasure):



And would you believe, when I confronted them with the fact that they had used my technology without permission, they proceeded to fill me in on the details of their tiff and wanted me to dole out punishments. Kids! Thank goodness they make me laugh.