Someone Take This from My Hand

I've had a bad cold and I'm in a bleary-eyed, weakened state. I'm vulnerable. When the screen suggested that I input my e-mail password so that FaceBook could help me find more friends, I did.

Someone should take this technology from my hand. Actually someone kinda did. I'm on FaceBook friend restriction for two days. But, I will go to my grave maintaining that I was tricked. At no point in the rather quick process did this

or this

or anything as straight forward at this

pop up to warn me to consider what I was doing before proceeding. Nope. The powers-that-be in FaceBook land all smiled, twisted their pencil-thin mustaches and whispered, "Click it. Click it. Do it."

So I did. I clicked GO.

Immediately another box popped up on my screen, reprimanding me for being such a gullible sheep as to give away my password. And, it said that FaceBook was putting me on friend restriction for TWO days for inviting people I don't know to join FaceBook. AND, this is the worst, FaceBook started calling me names: Spammer. That's still not all. FaceBook tried right then to get me to do it again. It begged me to enter my e-mail password and told me ten of my friends had done it and had successfully found lots of their friends on FaceBook.

The nerve! I might be a fool, but I'm no idiot.

Okay, I'll admit that I don't know the customer representative at University Games personally. We did have a good laugh the day I called her and told her about my cat swallowing the green game piece and she was kind enough to send me a replacement part, but I'm not silly. I know that doesn't make us best friends or anything. I was misled by FaceBook. I thought that the application would search for people in my address book on FaceBook and then allow me to send them friend invites if I wanted to. I had no idea it would send out e-mails to all 1,000 addresses.

Imagine my surprise when my husband called and asked why I was inviting him to join FaceBook. "We're already friends," he said. "Don't fill up my in-box with junk mail."

"Oh my gosh," I gasped. "What did it say?"

He had already deleted it.

If I get one more message that asks, "Remind me again. How do we know each other?" I'm going to throw up. I am so embarrassed. Not only did the University Games customer service rep get an invitation, but also my pest control service, our orthodontist and our parish priest.

How about a little thank you, FaceBook, for the free PR from the carte blanche access to my e-mail address book? How about it FaceBook? But no, instead you brusquely tuck my skirt in my panties, call me a spammer and tell me to run.

But I can't!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to miss what happens next on FaceBook.