Woohoo! I've received an email with a Secret Video and a Super Spy Decoder Ring! I'm doing the Snoopy happy dance. If I watch the video, I can learn to control women's minds.
If you are a woman, I'm controlling your mind right now (I think).
Imagine the possibilities this opens. Women will bring their shoes to my closet. Women will move to the side to let me check out in front of them in the grocery store. Women will share their private babysitter lists with me. Women will flock to give me their grandmothers' coveted recipes.
They will be my minions and with them I will take over the world!
Wait. There's a disclaimer at the bottom of the email message:
This video is meant only for designated recipients. It should be used for its intended purpose. If it falls into the wrong hands, it will self-destruct in 60 seconds, disarming your computer and obliterating your data stored therein.