Search This Blog

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thanksgiving Cheer

Can you feel the tension rising? Within a few short hours, which will quickly pass like a speeding bullet train, you and I will be immersed in a Jell-O mold of family members. We will gather around a table of thanksgiving with people to whom we are alledgedly related, but with whom, in our opinions, we share little resemblance.


Then we'll retire to the living room to watch football, sitting on the sofa next to snoring cousin Edgar, who has his hand tucked into the unbuttoned waistband of his pants. We'll find ourselves asking, "Who is this cousin Edgar? Where did he come from? How can I possibly share a genetic history with him?"


The scene is surreal, but survivable with a few nips of the Turkey Tamer (from Peterson's Holiday Helper by Valerie Peterson).


Ingredients:
5 pieces candied ginger (each about 1/2 inch square)
2 ounces Wild Turkey (or other bourbon)
1 & 1/2 onces pear juice


Directions:
While hiding in the pantry, place 4 pieces of candied ginger at the bottom of a cocktail shaker. Add the bourbon and get all your pent-up holiday aggression out by mashing the heck out of the ginger. Fill the shaker with ice and add the pear juice. Shake until condensation has formed on the outside of the shaker and you feel no more irritation at Aunt Ellie's probing personal questions. Strain the mixture into a glass filled with fresh ice or, if you are feeling particularly desperate, drink the concoction straight from the cocktail shaker. Put the 5th piece of candied ginger on a toothpick for garnish.


As everyone's holiday experience is different, some readers may choose to skip all the above steps, save money on the ingredients, and just down a shot or two of the Turkey and return, refreshed, to host his or her guests.
Servings: 1


We must remember to pace ourselves, however, since this is only the beginning of holiday mayhem. I recommend seeking aid and solace and a few spine straighteners, for those truly difficult days ahead, in your own copy of Peterson's Holiday Helper: Festive Pick-Me-Ups, Calm Me Downs & Handy Hints to Keep You in Good Spirits.


Combine Valerie Peterson's guide to capturing the blissful days of yore with a few chuckles from If Mama Don't Laugh, It Ain't Funny, and you have a recipe for making memories, some of which you might not remember and some of which you will never forget.

Above all, have a Happy, Happy Thanksgiving filled with gratitude for all the blessings in your life, including snoring cousin Edgar.

1 comment:

Colon said...

If you thought cranberry sauce was bad, wait until you see these real-life Thanksgiving dishes. The Worst Thanksgiving Food Ever

There was an error in this gadget