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Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Birthday Blog

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Hmm hm hm hm hm hm hm, Happy Birthday to me.

[The sound of a record scratching.]

Oh crap, that sound gives away my age.

[Substitute it with the sound of a blue ray DVD cracking and a Prius putting on its breaks.]

I can feel time slipping through my hands like a rope in a tug-o-war contest. This morning my 12 year-old, right after I blew out the more than a hundred candles flaming on my makeshift breakfast birthday cake presented to me by my children, asked, "How old are you this year?"

"Twenty-seven," I said, solidly, my tone daring anyone to question it.

He dared. "Haven't you been 27 for like the last four years in a row?"


"Mama, you're so old it's contagious," he replied, as if orienting me to reality.

While the look of horror still masked my young, wrinkle-free face, my oldest son hunched over and started grabbing his throat, saying, "I'm aging, I'm aging," in a crackly voice.

I put my fingers in my ears and sang, Hmm-hm Birthday to me, Hmm-hm Birthday to me, Hmm hm hm hm hm hm hm, Hmm-hm Birthday to me.

They yanked that tug-o-war rope through my hands so hard, it ripped the happy right out of birthday.


Momyar said...

Happy Birthday!!! You're not older just more mature!

Lt. Blount said...

27? You tried to pull off 27? If you are twenty seven, that means that I'm gonna have to hunt down my fake I.D. again. We'll have to buy Patrick diapers. How are you going to try to be 27 when I just turned 26 ;)

Lucy Adams said...

Never question the power of the successful birthday wish. I was able to blow out my birthday cake fire with only one breath. That means I get my wish.