I Didn't Ask for a Poodle

I confessed one of my deepest desires to the one person in the world I thought would understand: My husband. Instead, he reacted as if I had just suggested we replace one of our children with a poodle. Imagine my disappointment at being so gravely misunderstood. If he doesn't get me then who will?

You, perhaps?

Could you accept someone like me who has the audacity to admit that she would like to get rid of her dishwasher and install an ice maker in its place? That's not so crazy is it? Not crazy at all once you know my reasoning.

First, consider the dishwasher: Is it really a time-saving appliance or is it storage for dishes we don't want in the sink or haven't yet gotten around to putting back in the cabinet? Who among us isn't guilty of hiding dirty dishes in it when guests come over? Which of us has not ever retrieved dishes out of it to set the table because none were in the cabinets and drawers?

With the dishwasher, the process of washing, drying and putting away is never ending. We are almost always rinsing dishes and loading the dishwasher, running the dishwasher, emptying the dishwasher so we can reload it, or asking everyone in the house if he knows whether or not the dishes in the dishwasher are clean or dirty. There is seldom a time when the sink is empty and the dishwasher is empty and there is peace in the china.

It is a burden. If I hand-wash the dishes, however, the whole job is completed in one go: Wash, dry, put-away, done with nothing left hanging over my head.

Second, consider the miracle of ice. Man has accomplished the feat of taking what was once a nasty by-product of Mother Nature and turning it into something I simply cannot live without. Before the 1800s when ice was finally taken from frozen ponds and sold as a commodity, beverages languished at luke-warm temperatures, watermelons wallowed in tepid troughs, beer felt naked without the words "ice cold" preceding it. The world was a pretty grim place, particularly in the south during summer.

Ice is one of God's gifts to mankind, to cool our spirits and comfort our souls. I'd like to bring a bit of that holiness into my home.

You understand, right? You relate to my logic, yes?

You would never listen to my story and then turn up with a poodle to console me, would you? I didn't ask for a poodle.