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Friday, July 20, 2012

Road Trip! Road Trip! Road Trip!

Today, I get my hair cut at 1:00.

Tomorrow, I embark on an epic journey with the four ankle biters. We're driving from Augusta, GA to Dallas, TX on the I-20 corridor. Good behavior in the car will earn a stop at Bass Pro Shop. Bad behavior will result in a tortuous tour of the antebellum Gorgas House in Tuscaloosa. Whether they're good or bad, we're definitely stopping off at Eudora Welty's childhood home in Jackson, MS and the Bonnie and Clyde Ambush Museum in Gibsland, LA. These two must-sees are on my bucket list, now that I know they exist.

If the kids aren't making me drive too fast and crazy by the time we reach Bessemer, AL, I'll treat them to a visit to the Hall of Culture to view Hitler's typewriter. Every good road trip should have an educational component.

The rules to my road trip are simple: If they fight in the backseat, we'll spend the entire vacation in art and history museums with me reading every word on every plaque out loud to them in public. My incredible tourist experience will be excruciating and punitive to them. If they play along with my little adventure and keep their eyes peeled for the next roadside oddity, we'll do the 16 minute driving tour of the National Military Park in Vicksburg, MS and take a side trip to see a big yellow rocking chair in someone's front yard in Ruston, LA.

This ill-conceived notion of good family time spent cooped-up in the car together may be the death of me. That's why I have a hair appointment today. It's important for a southern lady to look decent, even when, especially when, she's crashing and burning.


shelly said...

Sweetman hates it when I read museum pieces plaques out loud. He also rushes me through museums. I just don't understand.


Anonymous said...

Hitlers I'm wondering....was he an idiot or was it possessed?

Jo said...

Sounds like you'll need a good hairdo.

Lt. Blount said...

What I've learned from this post:
1) You are coming to my state.
2) You are bypassing the wonders of my home and town.
3) There seems to be a stop in Tuscaloosa, meaning that another sibling is getting due respect.
4) This is one more reason to move: no one just "passes through" my neck of the woods.

William Kendall said...

Have fun with the trip!

One of Hitler's cars is on display in our war museum.

And I'd love to see Vicksburg myself someday.

Pearson Report said...

Great post, Lucy - I laughed. I think you, and your little ankle biters, are in for a memory-making trip.

I wish you (and them) fun, fun and more fun. Heck, I wished I was tagging along I'd love to check out those places too.

Cheers, Jenny

Lexa Cain said...

Great - it's like the eat-your-veggies-get-ice-cream-for-dessert ploy. I hope they behave and that you have a wonderful vacation! :-)

Kimberly said...

You are brave to take 4 ankle biters on a road trip! But it sounds like you have a very good plan. :)

Have an awesome trip and take lots of photos.

Li said...

I don't just read the plaques - I often photograph them. I also make the children pose for endless photographs and stop to browse through pamphlet racks. I can be hired by parents of unruly children by the hour or by the week ;-)

Norma Beishir said...

Hitler's typewriter????