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Thursday, December 8, 2011

Quick Christmas Cash

My email overfloweth with "good fortunate." And my bank account soon will, too. This year I have no fear of suffering from the annual Christmas-cash-strap. No sir. Just read:

Firstly, I think i would start all with a proper introduction of
myself. My name is Mrs. Rabia Kabir, a 51 years old woman suffering from a long time cancer of the breast a widow to late Mustafa Kabir in Iraq, One Year ago, I lost my husband Mustafa and three children - Husam, 15 years old, Wasim, 12 years old and Merna, 6years old, this happened as the family attempted to flee heavy fighting in Baghdad.

Before my husband and children were killed, he deposited the sum of $10,000.000 (Ten Million Dollars) in a security company. My Doctor told me that I would not last for the next two months due to cancer stage. Having known my condition I decided to donate this funds to a God fearing individual.
And this one, from a young girl so sad and in desperate need of my aid and comfort:

I am Angela Louis 19 years young and the only daughter of my late parents Mr. and Mrs. Bob Louis My father was a highly reputable business Magnet-(a cocoa and oil merchant) who operated in the capital of Ivory Coast during his days. It is sad to say that he passed away mysteriously in France during one of his business trips abroad.

My mother died when I was just 5 years young, since then my father took me so special. Before his death he called the secretary who accompanied him to the hospital and told him that he has the sum of Four Million five hundred thousand United State Dollars (US$ 4,500,000.00) left in one of the leading bank hear Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire and the money was placed in a fixed deposit account.
I am just 19 years young and a university undergraduate and really don't know what to do. The death of my father actually brought sorrow to my life.

Dearest one I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards. Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded. Now permit me to ask these few questions 1. Can you honestly help me as your sister? 2. Can I completely trust you? 3. What percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you after the money is in your account?

But that’s not all. In addition to donations for my good deeds, I’m also due an inheritance:
My name is John Fanzi, a consultant to the government on foreign remittance payment. I am an heir hunter. When people die intestate (without a will) and with no known relatives, their names are released by the Treasury. Every Thursday, a list of these unclaimed estates, the Bona Vacantia ( Latin for "ownerless goods" ) is published on the Treasury Solicitor's website. The race is then on for heir locators to track down the often distant relatives in line for a windfall.

After proper verification through records of births, deaths and marriages along with censuses, electoral registers and other documents, and with your email address as the only contact detail on file; it has been approved that you should receive an inheritance payment of $5,000,000.00 (Five Million United States Dollars).
So many promissory notes arrive in my spam folder each day that I have taken to responding, so that the senders will not think me ungrateful for being the target of their goodwill. Prosperity has even forced me to turn down an offer from Dr. Osamu Nagayama, who desires to retain me as a payment agent for Chungai, Inc. If interested in the position, I must send him my name, home address, phone number, and current job title. Though I am flattered by the faith he has in my ability to manage the company’s receivables through my personal bank account, I declined for practical reasons:

Apologies. Though your tendering of such a sweet deal might have made me salivate last month, I find that I am the happy victim of a windfall of change (and dollars). Akim Musa is giving me 105% of $15.5 million. And all he requires are my account numbers for the deposit. Plus he’s sending me a goat.


shelly said...

I'll take the goat. That-a-way I won't have to mow my yard and I can have plenty of milk if need be.

Li said...

Tis the season for scams, phishing, and hoodwinking! I've gotten a bunch in the past 2 weeks, I wonder if this economy is becoming tough on the crooks as well!

William Kendall said...

Oh, this is priceless. Scammeritis annoyingus strikes again!

Mike said...

The Nigerian princes keep trying to unload their wealth on me.

Norma Beishir said...

And some people actually still fall for this crap! Unbelievable!

Great blog, Lucy!

Dawn M. Hamsher said...

Well, recently we got an email from good church friends:

We are vacationing in England and last night we were mugged at knife point. We have no money. We need $1850 to get us through. We'll pay you back as soon as we get back home.

Made a phone call and our friends are safe and sound... at home.